I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the day after is always just damage control
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
