Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
