32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
