apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
