I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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