bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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