Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Randomize
