I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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