Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God, I missed his penis.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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