worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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