Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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