Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
