I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
