but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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