Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
