Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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