Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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