I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
