Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm like, not good at living.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
