I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize