I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
