i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
