just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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