He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
