I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
