dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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