i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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