His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
