What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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