I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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