This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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