i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize