This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
