I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
