this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
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