Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
