One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
