He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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