My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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