? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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