Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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