Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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