i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh god it's open bar.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
