I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize