somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
