Bisexual people are plain selfish.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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