you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
