this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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