I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
