so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
