also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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