Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
