oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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