Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
