she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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